Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Inanity of Blogging

Over the past five years or so, I have seen an incredible increase in the number of simply pathetic blogs on the Internet. It seems as though every idiot who has ever taken a college course on English composition has realized the fact that it requires no great mental exertion to create a blog--and has thus decided that he would be able to write and maintain a unique blog of superb quality.

Sometime in the past century, our culture has gotten the idea than anyone can write. Which has created the odd situation where more books than ever are being published and fewer books than ever are actually being read. But of course, not everyone who has been educated with this mentality wants to go through the tiresome effort of hiring an editor and finding a publisher--not to mention the strain of (God forbid) writing an actual outline for his book so it isn't a rambling mess of suck. But who cares about that--now, we have blogging! (We also have Facebook, but that is an evil to be addressed in another post.)

Thanks to Google (who has ever believed in and supported the power of the common stupid person by making its features as mind-numbingly simple as possible), anyone with a Gmail account can make a blog in approximately five minutes. Sure, it may not be the most original or best way to begin a blog, but that does not matter to the hordes of prospective writers who flood the Internet with their precious thoughts which so desperately need to be expressed.

The subjects of these blogs may be anything or everything. Cooking, fitness, media, sports, style, politics, science, education, activism, philosophy--even the incredibly exciting events of the personal life of a person who has enough spare time to spend hours every week writing in a blog--are all popular categories. No one ever bothers to come up with anything outside of these categories, because that is just too hard. In short, whatever the blogger deems worthy of the cost of corrective surgery for his spine from sitting with poor posture in front of a computer for hours every other day adding to his blog is an appropriate subject.

Blog content is not usually much better. Almost invariably, any blog I find on a subject that may be remotely useful (such as fitness) seems to devolve into giving 1: the same information repeated every few months, 2: information that can be obtained in any popular magazine, or 3: just enough information to make you want to buy the blogger's latest book/product that has some deep secret which can never be posted in the blog itself because it will apparently result in the spontaneous combustion of Earth.

Dividing by zero will do that, too.

And that just covers the truthful blogs. The number of blogs that contain misinformation, unverified claims, or even outright lies is approximately equivalent to the number of bad singers on Youtube. Of course, on the Internet--where no one cares about anyone (except perhaps slutty attractive young girls who are really federal agents in disguise)--that is only to be expected. If I had the ability to draw pictures with poo on the sidewalk without anyone giving a flying cow pat, then I of course would. After all, it is important to express oneself in the way that most reflects one's personality, no matter how ignorant or disgusting it looks.

That is not to say that all blogs are entirely useless. I myself read a few blogs every so often to assure myself that I am still significantly better than the rest of the human race, or for material when I need examples to illustrate the egregious flaws in the US education system in my papers deriding the course humanity has taken over the past few centuries.

Really though, I suppose blogging is not that useless as far as modern forms of communication go. For one thing, they don't slowly leech away your privacy by tracking your every click online and recording every event/emotion of your life until they have stolen your very soul.

Unlike some websites.

*wheezeFACEBOOKcoughcough* Pardon me; I have a bit of a tickle in my throat today.

However I'm not really sure I can count not doing something as a plus.

I am left with no conclusion but that this fad of blogging has done nothing to further humanity. Perhaps my little voice here will reach out to just one blogger, and convince him of his utter stupidity and the worthlessness of his blogging efforts. In the end, I believe that would be worth the sacrifices I have made to my ideals in writing this.

Until my next post. Fare well. Don't paint the sidewalk with poo, no matter how pretty you think it looks. It's gross.

1 comment:

  1. That's funny - an inane ranting blog about inane ranting blogs. The Internet really is self-referential.